Minor Irritation...

I wish I came with my own manual. Because sometimes even I don't get why I think the way I do or why I act in a certain way. Sometimes though, I see reflections of it in the way other people judge me. Hudson thinks I'm going to melt down about everything, and I know that I kind of annoy the bejesus out of him. I don't know why I annoy Jayme, but I do. I wish I didn't. The other day, I found out that a friend of Alex's, who shall remain nameless, was making him choose between either going to her party, or hanging out with me Friday night. I said to him, "If she actually invited me, I wouldn't mind going to the party with you," even though I didn't know some of her friends EXTREMELY well, but I was pretty good friends with some of them, like Kristen, Payton, Luke, Jeneal, the "brat pack" as I call them, and as far as I knew, they all liked me, or at least didn't hate me. This aforementioned friend told Alex that he wasn't allowed to bring me because I'd make things "weird," whatever the hell that means. "A lot of people don't like her, it'll just be awkward." I would sure like to know how that flew under my radar. I know I'm not always the most likeable person in the world. I'm obnoxious, overbearing, loud, often inappropriate, opinionated....But I don't see how an entire party's worth of people dislikes me, or even hates me....I didn't think I was a person who was easily hated. Which is why I would prefer that people just tell me they hate me, rather than treating it like some dirty little secret. I'd rather know...and try to change the behavior then go on being hated.